Seek to Understand others

This is one of the 7 habits... in fact, the situations described in the article are close to what I go through recently... perhaps, too 'engrossed' in my own thoughts and instead, my head has been ruled by my heart and emotions! Oh no!

Pick up a paragraph and a few points (introductory part of the article, Straits Times; 12 Jan):
People tend to neglect that 5% differences which appear to cause 95% of their cross-cultural misunderstandings, such as:

• Why didn't she reply more quickly?
• Why does he seem to beat around the bush?
• Why does he want to rush ahead when we need more analysis?
• Why does she give so much detail?
• Why does he only provide the conclusion with no support?

Just to pick up from here... these are so things that I encounter in the recent days - either myself exhibiting the behaviour or it's something I asked (in my heart) why people around me behaviour like this?

• Why didn't she reply more quickly? Yes, felt this when the response makes a difference to my work! Of course, in the fear of generating more work, inheriting more work... I guess, it's more like Why didn't she get the work done more quickly? Why miss deadlines? All these procrastination hype up everybody's stress level (including the procrastinator!)
• Why does he seem to beat around the bush? I did that... or I do that... just do not want to be direct... why? Not used to doing so... know my vocabulary power - do not want to use the appropriate words (just at that moment), say something that hurt others... one thing I don't like - to make others feel no-good... and being 'talked down'... it's really a technique to master... sigh... not easy.
• Why does he want to rush ahead when we need more analysis? Yes, probably because, by nature, I take very low risk... think twice, think thrice! No point rushing and have to do damage recovery... remember, whatever is said, is said, we can't retract the words, no matter what!
• Why does she give so much detail? Oh yes, why? so that you have everything when asked! Maybe it's a sign of insecurity... or to boost confidence?
• Why does he only provide the conclusion with no support? Yeap, come across people with this mentality (still have some around)... Why do so much - based on general argument, that's the conclusion... anyway, whatever proposed will be slashed at the end of the day, so, what bother to prepare so much? Might as well wait for directions on what is needed...

See? There are lots and lots of assumptions and "own" interpretations - that reminded me of the "ladder of inference"... once a pattern is established (through repeated occurances), one can't help, but infer and interpret using one's own perception... Moreover, many a time, we fail to assume positive intentions... probably because of the more-often-than-not negative reactions received...