This topic came about when I was talking to someone who was not quite able to see the rationale of his mother's reaction and action that displeases him. Ok, he said, to an extent that he was "fed-up".
I think, many a time, we react or respond to our immediate experience. Of course, some people said, it's good not to make second guess. Things in life are not that complicated after all. However, if we think deeper. There are layers and layers of meanings just behind an act. Even for the one who acts on it, might not be aware of the hidden 'motivation' behind his/her action! (I belief, sometimes). And also, it's sending messages across... be it explicit or not.
That's why, sometimes we ask, "Why do you act in this manner?" We'll get superficial answer.
However, if we probe, we are helping one to ask his/her internal self, "why" he/she act in a certain manner, and "what" he/she wants to get out of it, and we might even uncover one's belief, too!
In the instance when the mother attempts to "stop" her child's internet addiction by installing various kinds of software to deter the access. At the surface, it seems like, from the child's perspective, she is being "unreasonable" to deprive him from doing what he likes. So, the child would see the "impact" through what he experience.
On the other hand, think deeper, are there ways to address the same issue without imposing restrictions to the internet access? Certainly there is... However, why the mother thinks of "acting" on the device? Well, usually we'll see that, by imposing restriction on the device, it means the device is no longer 'able' to accessible to the child! It is a form of distraction! So, the device is to the fault! It is to be blamed! Without the device, the child would not be indulge in internet related activities.
So, all this sounds logical? Yes, yes, yes... no doubt.
Now let's look back... The device is non-living thing! It doesn't "ask" the chlid to "come", to be "indulged"... though it 'creates' a temptation after one has cultivated some kind of habit or means of using it.
Notice that: "One cultivate some kind of habit of means of using it"?
So, the point I'm trying to drive is... it's human... to blame
So, back to what the mother did... "Who/What" did she think is at fault?
It think her action is sending a message... the fault lies on the device and the internet. The child is the 'victim' to the circumstance where he is being distracted.
Haha... what kind of reasoning, some of you might think...
Well, by removing the device doesn't necessary mean the child will be able to focus... there are other distractions (though the main 'distraction' is the device).
So, I guess that's how mothers think.
In another instance, the child said he has been disrespectful to his mother as he tends to shout back at his mother at the fiery moment, but would apologise after he cools down each time.
I just wonder: Is the mother hurt each time the child shouted at her because of her good intent? Definitely... but would the mother forgive the child and continue to care about him?
The child answered, "Yes" - a very definite reply.
Why does that happen? Isn't it strange... Doesn't that sound illogical?
One would not reciprocate in this manner in a long run - but it happens here.
The reason is simple - It's the Love of the Mother. It's the relationship between the Mother and the Child.
No matter what... the child, in the eyes of his mother, no matter how old he is, how wrong he did - it's still her child. Because she has HOPE in him! That was what the child added.
Hope the child have undertood this... and treasure what he has...
Aside... about how great Mother's Love could be...
A Touching Story in the Sichuan Earthquake: Young Mother Breastfed Baby as she lay dying in the rubble
Photo: Mother's Love in EarthQuake
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