Thursday, August 30, 2007

Build up emotional strength

Read this on Thursday's RECRUIT... it talked about Emotional Strength.

An interesting analogy: Emotional Fitness <> Physical Fitness

It describes Emotional Strength as the ability to develop a sustained capacity to thrive when the going gets tough. One needs emotional fitness when handling a crisis or some prolonged challenging situation that confronts and confounds us. It takes tremendous emotional energy to remain motivated.

The article pointed out 4 areas to work on:


  • 1. Be Patient, which is the most important of all 4.
  • When a recurrent problematic situation saps our emotional energy, the best way to react is to be patient and work towards the best solution even though it may take time.
  • The article also advises to break the problem into smaller achievable steps and enjoy the little victories everytime we solve one small aspect of the problem. This helps us to focus and remain motivated.
  • Patience builds one's internal strength. The 'demand' of patience also tests one's internal strength. It has its limit, and interesting, this limit is elastic - depending on the kind of 'test' it's subjected to and other external factors!
  • An analogy would be the boiling point of water. At sea level "0", water boils at 100 ° C. However, at the mountain top, its boiling point changes because of the change of pressure!
  • Of course, over the years, many of us mellowed down... and no longer think, act and speak so 'impulsively'... is it because of maturity? because of the accumulated wisdom? Hm... ^.^
  • Sometimes, I think, by putting ourselves in others' shoes, try to think from his/her perspective (taking into account of his background and past experiences), it does help to stretch our patience further, as we understand why sometimes he/she react in a certain manner - that tests our patience! Yes, I think, it helps!
  • 2. Develop a Spiritual Centre where we accept who we are and what we can do. Do not be interferred by external "good to haves".
  • Being realistic and down-to-earth makes us feel good about ourselves.
  • Also, appreicate our own talents and work on our AFIs!
  • Yes... many a time, we look around us... and envy what others have... (but we have yet experienced). It brings to the old analogy: Is the glass half filled or half empty?
  • It's human nature - that we tend to compare... (that day was just talking about this with PH and BY)...
  • There's a high tendency when we compare of ourselves with the better off... and we ended up asking why? Why better things tend to happen to others but not ourselves? So, our glass is half empty?
  • One obvious example I could think of would be a comparison of the working atmosphere of the 2 sections, which is a great contrast.
  • While one section projects a very sunny image when others perceive things go very well and people are happy - does this apply to everyone? It's good to observe and imagine how one fits into the company too... Does the sun always shine?
  • While in another section that projects a very 'stressed-up' and 'serious' image... is it a true indication of situation really that bad? Think about it... Has the sun shy away from here?
  • It's also human nature that intuitively, we don't compare ourselves with the 'worse off' unless we are subjected to that kind of thoughts! We forget to see the filled portion and appreciate what we have.
  • 3. Make a Paradigm shift. "A paradigm is a way of thinking".
  • It says, if something is not working for you, it could be that you are tapped in a certain way of thinking.
  • So??? Try looking at the challenge from a different perspective. Talk to someone you trust to see if there's any suggestion to handle the situation.
  • 4. Engage in Positive Self-Reflection.
  • Learn to always see ourself as a positive and successful person.
  • For things that do not go well, it's good should acknowledge what has happened, where and why things went wrong - reflect and pick up the learning points... move on and stop dwelling on the past!

"Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realise it. For the world has built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us marching onwards." - Henry Ford

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