[F-Diary] #16a TUE 10 SEP - Struggle strengthens...

A nice short story that reminds me of another - about telling one not to disturb the struggle that the caterpillar undergoes because it needs that struggle to become strong enough to become a butterfly - to gain strengths for its winds to flap and fly.

In an equivalent or parallel story, it remains us growing up requires one to go through and experience certain "blows" or challenges in order for one to gain strength and gets rooted. 

All these require time to "become" what they are today. Though most of the time , what we see is already the "outcome".

 

[F-Diary] #15b MON 9 SEP - after a week of hard cast

 I am back in the morning, to be precise... I arrived punctually - less crowded compared to last Monday when the appointment was in the afternoon. 

Today, I'm under "Practice 1".

The first item in the list is to remove the cast! 

Oh.... I elbow gets to see light again!

This machine does the wonders! But.... only when in the hands of the skilful technician! 

I do feel safe in Mr Azeem's hands... To him, it may be a daily piece of mechanical work, but, to the patience, it's the confidence we have that the elbow will not get cut under the sharp blade - for his professionalism gained through numerous applications - what we call... practice mades perfect.

It looks ok....  but after a week being in the hard cast... the skin reacted to touch and water... it was painful, unexpectedly. I presume, that's what we normally heard advice like the need to give time climatise the body when subjected to change of environmental conditions. [Another aha moment]

After washing with soap and had it dried, it is ready for the next phase...

To the X-ray room... Room 2 with queue number 0198

X-ray - how it looked like after 2 weeks...

A comparison with last week's - holding well in its position... progressing though seems insignificant.

Confirmed that I'll not go for the surgery option, but to opt for the more conservative approach. Yes, will need to live with a bit of the deformity on my right.

"Re-dressed" - this time, for 3 weeks in a row... not advisable to open up for checking or cleaning as it would disrupt the stability and growth. This time choose blue - more "sustainable" - to manage the "dirt". 

Last stop... at the Pharmacy... to standby painkillers... just in case...

[F-Diary] #15a MON 9 SEP - School Reopens!

School reopens today - but I did not report to school.

It's not the first time in my teaching career.

• The first time was back in NAS (1st day of the academic year) - I had chickenpox after returning from the Spain/ Portugal trip. There was a change in school leadership that year (BK).
• The second time I could recall was in SST (LC's time) before Covid 19 years (again, 1st day of the academic year) - when my eyes, for unknown reasons turned red, which to-date, I think it was the side effect of the flu vaccine I took in Dec that year.
• This is probably the 3rd time, I could recall (absent from 1st day of the last term of the year), due to an injury.

But, I woke up early today - not because I forget it is a non-school day (for me), but to hand a set of marked assignments to Ruth to help deliver to school.

Thankful for this colleague, despite of her busyness...  dropping by mum's place at 6am.🧙🧹

[F-Diary] #14c SUN 8 SEP - Miss Saigon

It's the 2nd time I watch the musical. The last time was also in Singapore, and I could not recall when or where it was... but it was so long ago. I could vaguely recall the story line. I guess what drew me there in the past was because of its stage set-up, hey, in which musical would one finds a helicopter on the stage? Of course we know it's a famous production that receives good feedback. Unlike Les Miserable or Phantom of the Opera, none of the songs registered in my head.

Indeed, I thought quite hard before clicking the payment button. It was in May, when I bought tickets to several show this year, that time was thinking of treating it like a compensation for not travelling out of Singapore in June. The date is the last day of the Sep holidays - to mark the end of the school holiday. From another perspective, it's like giving myself a treat before another crazy term starts.

Briefly, it's a tragic love story as a result of the America's involvement in the Vietnam war. It probably resonates many real cases - when the American soldiers fathered children with Vietnamese women. Kim and Chris are probably one of the many couples who fall in love and bear children, whom many Vietnamese would have hoped that it opens up a channel for them to leave the country. Yes, it reflects another reality - the Vietnamese' America dream. This stronger desire not only consistently portrayed by the pimp, who called himself "the engineer"; but also in the last scene where Kim would rather sacrifice herself so that Chris would bring the child back to America.

yup, I just learnt that Saigon is the name of the current Ho Chi Minh City.

[F-Diary] #14b SUN 8 SEP - Out, unaccompanied

It sounded a bit unbelievable - but it is true, regardless how old we are, in the eyes of a mum, a child is a child, regardless how independent we are. What's more when the child is unwell.... there it goes, you may call her a control freak, but that's how mum's love is expressed - becoming very protective, definitely- regardless how old she is, or how old her child is... that's love 💕 

At last, today, I got the permission to travel by the public transport, after giving her the re-assurances, and applying my forte, presented to her my well thought through plan. Haha... a close to 55 years of age needing to seek clearance to travel! It sounds ridiculous to many, I supposed but come to think about it, it's happiness, it's a blessing. Isn't it?

You can't believe it - the "what a relief" look at her face when I return in one piece 🤣

[F-Diary] #14a SUN 8 SEP

It's close to 2 weeks since. 

One of those rare mornings that I left my place early to go to my Tampines.

Over these 2 weeks, I'm learning a bit more from some Grab drivers as this becomes the most convenient means to commute. Some are more chatty... who would share some challenges they face in their business. 

This morning is a Comfort cab - learnt that they would need to flag the meter when the journey commences, unlike the flat rate, Just Grab. The driver forgot to flag it down when we started the journey. He was a bit nervous and tried to explain the situation to me. I guess he was worried that I would stick to the meter fare, approximately $2 less. I guess he probably came across unreasonable passengers before. Well, yes, there are people out there who would feeling good over such small "wins" from those who earn a living via hard work ☹️

If I were stingy, I wouldn't even request the service.

[F-Diary] #9 TUE 3 SEP - An encouraging start for the day

Flipped the book that I bought some time ago - ALL ALONG YOU ARE BLOOMING Thoughts of boundless living...

I hope that I can really do somethings that I did not gret the time to do or I procrastinated... it's like a second chance given to me... I am grateful to this second chance... to pause, to stocktake, to catch up...

 

[F-Diary] #8c MON 2 SEP - back at NUH

Was back at NUH... This time, to the main building which will be a place I frequent in weeks to come - for review and rehabilitation. 

The wait was long. 

Had my blood pressure measured first... then saw the doctor.

After 1 week... the right hand and wrist area at last got to see light and breathe some fresh air. Looked ok as there wasn't any open wound, fortunately. 

I was quite shocked when the doctor told me that I would need to undergo surgery because the fracture was bad, and it was necessary to recover mobility. What made puzzled was she was looking at the X-ray taken before the A&E doctors attempted to treat it. OK, thanks for informing and now I know how serious the fall was.... but, what did the X-ray taken after the pull was done? You did not even look at it and started telling me the need to go under the knife? I can't believe it!

The surgery would involve a "tiny" method piece to support/ uphold or strengthen the wrist. The thought of having a method piece to be inserted was really a big turn-off.

The entire conversation followed was focused on addressing my fear, trying to convince me the benefits - which not much of the difference. Indeed, I was more anxious on when it will get healed and the amount of time that is needed to rehabilitate, whether the intensive marking will make delay the recovery or have any negative impact to the healing. Proposals like extending timelines and reallocation of load didn't register well with me. I felt there is a communication breakdown. I felt that she seemed to be pushing her "agenda" when she wasn't even armed with the relevant information! 

The next thing is... to do an X-ray to see how far it has progressed, after being on a half cast for a week. 

While waiting to do the X-ray, trying to warm up the fingers with some gestures that the doctor advised...  

Photos taken before going for the X-ray to check on the progress

X-Ray on 2 Sep shows pretty good progress. Indeed, I have the A&E doctors (Dr Kong and Dr Poh) to thank. Also, Dr Lim's re-assurance when I returned to the hospital that very evening. To Dr Gupta, it was a surprise that the bones were quite nicely aligned now, tilted at a reasonable 22-degree angle. She no longer pushed for surgery. She even offered the option of using the removal plastic cast that can be removed for cleaning, as compared to a hard cast. The degree of seriousness seemed to swing to the other end! I was quite relieved.

Very quickly, Dr Ellen Lee, the senior doctor dismissed the use of the removal cast as the wound would still need the support for the bones to grow. Immobilisation with hard cast is necessary at. this phase. 

The next question sound valid - on the intensity of work that my wrist needs to handle. While it will not be back into its original condition, the surgery will help to handle work of greater intensity like doing intensive work like lots of frying/ cooking and cleaning. It seems to me the more labour intensive work. Of course, the bone that faces the table might made its presence more felt as it's no longer fully in place.

A comparison - before and after:

I requested to have some time to think first though I know I'm against the surgery option. From experience, I also learnt that I must never close my door entirely. I'll be back next Monday to have it X-rayed again, to see its progress. Deep inside, I think I have faith with the work by the A&E doctors. Nonetheless, just wait for another 7 days...

Here, doing the hard cast. The technician, Azeem was a bit surprised that I q=would be back to remove the cast in a week's time. 

Nevertheless, he gave good advice to handle the cast, and reminders (and reasons and implications) on why it is necessary to "uphold" my right elbow - to prevent blood clots. Also the reminders to do simple stretching exercises for the fingers. Thanks for the patience to answer my questions!

Will be back in a week's time.

[F-Diary] #8b MON 2 SEP - Nice catch-up...

Am grateful for the catch-up lunch... thanks for the special arrangement, Rachel and Hui Min. 

Grateful for the friendship forged through our work in the digital citizenship committee.

1st time eating out after the accident. 1st time eating at the NUS Alumni House.

[F-Diary] #8a MON 2 SEP - Back in school...

Many things in my head:

• Wanted to tidy up my table... though I know my table is not too messy but it is cluttered with things. Obviously, I should tidy up the place, at least to ensure it is a place where the relief teacher can use.
• Needed to ensure that the relief teacher is ready to start work on day 1 - fortunately, it is not the first period of the day.
• Returning the work to students is at the back of my mind... the promise to return the work in a timely manner for revision.
• Will I be able to finish marking the remaining stuff or need to trouble someone to bring it back or I have to make another trip?

Nice to catch up with some colleagues and grateful for their well wishes.... also, for a moment, I learnt that I just joined "informally" - a "fractured community in SST". Am really grateful to theses colleagues, whom some I hardly spoke to, come forward to offer words of comfort and tips to take care, and their experiences - to this youngest member of the fractured community. ♥️

One of the first things to do is to give out the "belated" Teachers' Day gift, prepared a few months ahead... unfortunately, for two, I had not written my words of gratitude and encouragement - a lesson learnt, do not wait as we don't know what's going to happen next... but fortunately, I get to hand the books to them personally as they happened to be back in the first day of the staff protected period.

For close to 2 hours, I got the stuff organised... am happy ☺️

Next, to get ready my little notes to brief the relief teacher.

I left at around 12 n👀n.